As I stood behind the curtains of my college’s auditorium only seconds away from performing a Michael Jackson-inspired dance routine by myself, a thought suddenly ran through my head:
“How did a shy, self-conscious person like me manage to gain the confidence to perform in front of a crowd of people?”
The thought went as suddenly as it came as the host of the talent show announced my name.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Thomas Adams!“
Pulling back the curtain, I strode confidently to the middle of the stage as the host passed me whispering, “Good luck!”
With the spotlight beaming down on me and my white glove covered in fake sequins shimmering, I waited for the music to start as the crowd cheered me on.
In that moment, the shy, self-conscious person I believed I was for many years was nowhere in sight.
Do you consider yourself to be a confident person?
Most people would answer with a resounding “no” to that question.
Confidence may be hard to achieve for many, but it isn’t completely out of reach.
If you are looking for how to be more confident in your everyday life, then this article may be just what the doctor ordered!
I will tell you, though:
Master that, and maybe one day you too can conquer your fears, ask that special someone out on a date, or even moonwalk across the stage in front of hundreds of people!
How to Be More Confident Categories
1. Invest Time and Effort Into Personal Development
When I first heard someone tell me I should invest time and effort into my own personal development, I wasn’t sure what they were talking about.
Personal development to me always meant picking up the latest book by Tony Robbins from the Self-Help section of the bookstore, reading the first 5 pages then laying it to rest on the bookshelf to collect dust until being sold to the local Goodwill.
It wasn’t until I seriously started researching it that I discovered how powerful personal development can be in boosting your confidence.
Most successful people attribute their confidence to taking their own personal development seriously, so why not follow suit?
One fantastic book I highly recommend reading on this topic is Hal Elrod’s book the Miracle Morning.
2. Affirm Yourself
Here’s a great video by Tony Robbins on this subject:
Do you spend more time tearing yourself down or building yourself up?
Affirming yourself can be a great way to combat self-doubt, a lack of confidence in yourself, and negative feelings toward yourself.
We love the feeling of being complimented by others, so why not give ourselves compliments too?
Try taking a few minutes out of your day to affirm yourself saying things like, “I will be successful today”, “I am a great person to be around”, or simply, “I am loved.”
It may sound cheesy, but you’ll be surprised at how effective this can be in boosting your confidence.
3. Write in a Journal
Are you a writer?
Even if you’re not, writing things down in a journal can help you gather your thoughts for the day and make you feel more in control of your life.
Try taking a few minutes out of your morning to write down your thoughts, fears, tasks, etc. for the day.
4. Practice Thankfulness
It’s been shown that practicing thankfulness will improve sleep, cause more positive emotions, and even boost your immune system.
As you take the focus off of yourself and place it on others in the form of gratitude, you will naturally feel less self-conscious and more confident.
5. Wear Cologne/Perfume
Let’s be honest:
It feels great to know you smell great!
Give yourself a few spritzes in the morning as you’re getting ready and see just how confident you will feel as you approach that special someone.
6. Take Care of Your Personal Grooming
We’re talking about personal grooming in a post about how to be more confident?
Do these sentences sound familiar?
Brush your teeth!
Comb your hair!
Bathe at least twice a day!
These were all ingrained in our heads when we were kids and for all the right reasons.
If you neglect your personal grooming, you will undoubtedly feel less confident in yourself.
Nobody particularly loves to be around a smelly, unkempt person so if you haven’t already, make a habit of taking care of your personal grooming daily.
7. Write Down Your Goals
I purchased a whiteboard recently and after mounting it on the wall I proceeded to write down all of my personal goals.
These included short-term goals, long-term goals, and even goals I wanted to accomplish that very day.
Now, if I’m ever having an off day, I can look at my whiteboard and readjust my focus so I’ll know how far I’ve come and where I’m going in life.
Seeing where we want to go in life can give us that much-needed boost of confidence to get us through hard times.
Take a minute and write down all of your goals, both short and long-term, and place them somewhere that you can see.
If you want your own whiteboard I recommend grabbing this one here.
8. Write Down Your Principles and Live By Them
Not only should you write down your goals and keep them where you can see them, but you should do the same thing with the principles you live by.
Have you faced a challenge in your life where you’re not confident you know what do?
Having our principles defined can help us feel more confident in making those tough decisions.
A few of my own personal principles are:
- Honesty and openness are vital to having a deep, meaningful relationship.
- Every human being has value and a purpose.
- Hard work and dedication are more important than perceived giftings or talent.
What are your principles to live by?
9. Learn to Love Yourself
Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly:
Do you love yourself?
The unfortunate truth is most people if they’re honest either don’t love themselves or flat out despise themselves.
There’s no quick and easy way to start loving yourself if you deal with a lot of self-criticism or self-loathing, but spending time each day acknowledging the things you like about yourself, correcting negative thought patterns, and being gracious with yourself when you mess up can help.
It may take some time, but try learning to love who you are – flaws and all.
You’ll see how freed up you’ll feel from self-criticizing and your confidence will soar!
10. Dress Nicer
Not only does dressing up make you look more confident, but it will undoubtedly make you feel more confident too.
I personally don’t dress up as much as I probably should, but on days that I do I certainly feel slightly more confident in myself than if I had left the house wearing my usual T-shirt and basketball shorts.
11. Set an Easily Obtainable Goal For Yourself and Achieve It
Don’t underestimate the power of this simple trick – it really works!
If you set a goal for yourself that you know you will be able to accomplish quickly, such as flossing every morning, reading 1 page a day, etc., your brain will naturally release serotonin which will make you feel great about yourself.
Try setting a simple goal for yourself that you can accomplish and use that as a starting block to accomplish larger goals.
12. Make a Daily Task List
Got a lot of things to do for the day?
Try writing down all of the tasks you need to accomplish and see how confident you’ll feel knowing you have your day fully planned out.
A great, free app for Google Chrome that can help you do this is Momentum – try it out for yourself!
13. Prepare Yourself For Failure
We all will undoubtedly fail at some point in our lives, but how we deal with failure can be a huge factor in how confident we feel.
Preparing yourself emotionally for failure can help you recover quicker and boost your confidence when things start to turn around.
The trick is to not wallow in self-pity when things don’t go your way.
Instead, realize that while failure is inevitable you can always recover from it.
14. Visualize Your Success
I know – talking about visualizing in a post about how to be more confident?
Hear me out:
The first time I heard about practicing visualizations I was skeptical.
I remember hearing about people teaching that if you visualize yourself driving a Ferrari then one day the universe will magically deliver one to your front door step.
It wasn’t until reading Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning that I discovered a better way to practice visualizations that actually works in building your confidence.
The trick is to not just visualize yourself enjoying the results you want, but instead visualize yourself enjoying doing the work needed to get the results you want.
In the morning, if you know that you need to write a paper that day, spend some time visualizing yourself writing your paper with a smile on your face and enjoying every second of it.
Imagine yourself bursting with creativity as the words seem to flow out of you naturally.
As weird as this may sound, it actually has been proven to work.
Spend some time every morning visualizing yourself as a confident person and it will undoubtedly affect you throughout the day.
15. Read Books on Personal Development
Again with the personal development stuff?
Yes, it’s extremely important for you to spend time reading these books as they will massively help you learn how to be more confident.
A few great books I highly recommend are the following:
- You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
- Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
- The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
16. Create a Video For Yourself in a Year
This is something that I just recently started doing and it’s been pretty cool.
Make a short video of yourself talking about how you feel right now, what your current goals are, and any issues you’re facing.
Watch that video a year later and chances are you’ll not only have improved yourself tremendously but you’ll also be able to look back and see how much you have accomplished in that past year.
Doing this will undoubtedly give you the confidence you need to get through any situation.
17. Develop Thick Skin Without Becoming Bitter
Nobody likes being made fun of, harassed, or yelled at.
However, if you’re able to develop thick skin then whenever things like this happen you’ll know exactly how to respond and it won’t hinder you as much.
If you know where you’re going in life, a little bump in the road won’t throw you off coarse.
Don’t let people offend you easily, but be sure not to become bitter at the same time by developing empathy for the person who may have tried to harm you.
Chances are, that person is either having a bad day themselves or is just not in the right state of mind.
Having thicker skin is a great way to live and it shows others that you are more confident in yourself than in other people’s opinions.
18. Identify Traits You Admire in People You Respect and Imitate Them
When we were kids, all we did was look up to authority figures in our lives and we tried to be like them.
Who do you look up to today?
Try identifying certain traits you admire about them, including their confidence, and try imitating them.
After awhile, you’ll get your own style of doing things.
Look at Michael Jackson – he basically copied his idol, James Brown, when he was younger until he developed his own craft and became the King of Pop!
Do likewise, and you’ll see great results!
19. Develop Better Life Skills
Do you know how to use a can opener?
Do you know how to fry an egg?
How about balancing a checkbook?
Why should matter when it comes to how to be more confident?
The fact is, these simple skills aren’t always taught in school and can seriously make young adults feel insecure about themselves if they don’t know how to do them.
If you know you don’t know something that’s pretty obvious – take the time to learn it!
Once you learn these simple things, you’ll definitely feel more confident in yourself.
Fitness & Wellness
20. Start a Workout Routine
Even if it’s a simple 10-15 minute workout, find a routine that you can do every day.
Our bodies were made to move, so when you work out you’ll feel more alive and great about yourself!
Plus, if you do it long enough, you’ll definitely see some physical results that will boost your confidence!
Here’s a quick video to help you get started with a routine:
21. Practice Meditation
Spending time meditating every day has been shown to lower stress, combat depression, and, most importantly, help us get to know our true selves.
Spend time sitting in silence each day focusing on your breathing.
It may be difficult at first, but pretty soon you will get the hang of it and see the results.
22. Go On More Walks
Spending time getting fresh air can help us clear our heads and feel fantastic!
Take a stroll through your neighborhood, a nearby park, or explore a new part of your city.
The simple act of walking can help us feel better about ourselves and ultimately boost our confidence.
23. Jog More
As with walking, jogging has been shown to improve our overall health and make us feel great about ourselves.
Try jogging at least a few times throughout the week and you’ll definitely feel more confident about yourself!
24. Practice Spirituality
Being spiritual doesn’t necessarily require religious affiliation, instead, it’s the act of looking beyond yourself and finding peace in any situation.
Spending time each day practicing spirituality, whether through meditation, church, prayer, etc., can certainly help you feel more grounded in your life and peaceful.
I know from experience that I am the most confident when I feel at peace, so try to find a way to cultivate that feeling of peace for yourself.
25. Get More Rest
Do you love staying up late like I do?
It’s a bad habit that we all need to break if we have it!
Getting good sleep has been shown to improve our memory, help us live longer, and boost our overall well-being.
Try getting at least 8-9 hours of sleep each night and you won’t feel so sluggish throughout the day.
26. Take Self-Defense Classes
If you know how to defend yourself, you will not only feel better about yourself but people will certainly look to you for help in certain situations.
Try taking a class or two on self-defense and hope that you’ll never have to use it!
27. Take Martial Arts Classes
I took Tae Kwon Do as a teenager and it certainly made me feel better about myself as I kicked through thick boards like a champ.
As with a self-defense class, try looking into taking a class in martial arts and learn how to kick ass and take names!
28. Practice Breathing Deeply
When you breathe deeply, it’s been shown to improve both our overall health and mood as oxygen fills your body.
We tend to breathe too shallow throughout the day so it’s good to practice breathing deeply a few times each day.
A few good deep breaths should make you feel great and ready to take on the day!
29. Stretch Your Body Daily
If you’re like me, working a desk job can leave us feeling stiff and lethargic.
Because of this, it’s important for us to stretch at least a few times a day to loosen up our muscles and prevent tightness.
I have my own stretch routine I do in the mornings and at night, so try finding your own routine based on your own personal needs.
If you work a desk job, I suggest focusing most of your attention on your legs, hips, and wrists/forearms.
30. Eat Healthier
In America, the average person’s diet consists of way too much sugar, salt, and junk food.
Go for more fruits, veggies, grains, grass-fed meats, etc. and you’ll not only be healthier but you’ll feel ten times better about yourself.
Check out our post about the best superfoods that will certainly help you feel great!
31. Immediately Discredit Negative Thoughts
Here’s a helpful video on the subject of discrediting negative thoughts:
We’re all too familiar with that critical voice in our heads.
Why even give it air time in your mind?
When you hear that voice jabbering away at your expense, consciously discredit the voice as soon as you can.
The next time you mess up at something if the voice says, “I’m such an idiot”, immediately tell yourself, “No I’m not, I just made a mistake and I’ll learn from it next time”.
This sounds too simplistic, but it’s very powerful and has definitely worked wonders in my life.
Do not agree with the negative, critical thoughts in your head and pretty soon that voice will become quieter and quieter.
32. Talk Yourself Through Your Problems
I know what you’re thinking:
“A “How to Be More Confident” post that tells me to talk to myself? How’s that gonna help me?”
Rather than internalizing everything, try spending time audibly talking through what’s on your mind when faced with a tough situation.
I know that when I am struggling with figuring out the next stage of a project I’m working on, talking through the situation can give me the boost of confidence I need to move forward.
33. Focus on Solutions to Problems
We all have a tendency to focus exclusively on the problems we’re having – why not focus more attention on the solution instead?
If we spent as much time focusing on finding the solution to a problem than the problem itself, we’d likely be over our problems much faster.
As we find solutions to problems, we gain confidence in our problem-solving skills which undoubtedly come in handy in life.
34. Finish the Simplest Tasks First
Each time we complete a task, our brain gives us a nice shot of dopamine.
If we strategically take on the easiest tasks first, we will feel more motivated to tackle bigger tasks.
Make a quick list of what needs to be done for the day, do the easy stuff first, then take on the important tasks.
You’ll see how much more efficient and confident you’ll be at work or at home when you do this.
35. Know Thyself
In other words, it’s important we get to know ourselves separate from other people’s opinions or thoughts of us.
Spend time getting to know the real you – not the you that tries to measure up to people’s expectations.
You’ll find that the closer you get to knowing yourself, the more confident and free you will feel.
36. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Do you consider yourself to be an uptight person?
Learn to let loose a little!
When we humble ourselves and give up any self-important pride, it becomes so much easier to go through life a confident human being as our eyes are placed off of ourselves and onto the world around us.
We all only have one life to live, so try not to take yourself too seriously and just live your life.
37. Form New Thought Patterns in Your Mind
As I mentioned in #31, when we stop believing negative thoughts about ourselves and immediately discredit them, pretty soon our thoughts begin to change.
Spend time monitoring your thought life and anything you find to be negative that isn’t pushing you to improve yourself, get rid of it or change it into a positive thought.
Pretty soon, you will have new thought patterns formed in your mind and you will see your confidence soar.
38. Change Your Mindset
Do you find yourself saying, “I can’t do that!” quite often?
Try saying this instead:
“How can I do that?”
Changing from a “can’t” mindset to a “how can I” mindset will not only allow you to get more work done and become successful, but it will ultimately make you a more confident person.
39. Accept Your Flaws and Learn to Love Them
There are plenty of things we can change and improve about ourselves, but there are some things that we have no control over and can’t do anything about.
Learn to love these aspects of yourself as they make up the person you.
40. Remind Yourself Where You Are Going in Life
It helps us to know where we’re going in life if we’re faced with a problem.
Remind yourself where you’re going in life and what needs to be done in order to get there.
Just like the captain of a ship gains confidence in where he’s going when he gazes at the map, so do we when we take a minute to remember where we are going in life.
41. Trust In Your Own Abilities
If you want to be more confident, you must be able to trust in your own abilities.
Don’t sell yourself short, we all have natural talent at something.
Hone your abilities and learn to trust in yourself to get you to where you want to be in life.
42. “Fake it ‘Till You Make It!”
How is this supposed to teach you how to be more confident?
Hear me out:
Even if you don’t consider yourself a confident person, live your life as if you are a confident person.
Stand up straight, dress nicer, and keep applying the principles that are highlighted in this list.
Pretty soon, you’ll start feeling more confident even if you don’t have a “magical” moment where you all of a sudden feel a jolt of confidence rush through your body.
43. Be Your Own Personal Cheerleader
Going through a rough patch?
Try cheering yourself on rather than tearing yourself down.
Let the words “You got this!” radiate through your mind whenever you’re faced with a challenge.
Being your own personal cheerleader can help build confidence during tough times in our lives.*
*No pom-poms required
44. Watch Old Videos of Yourself
The other day I found some videos I made of myself over 5 years ago and watching them made me realize how far I’ve come as a person.
It made my day knowing that I’ve grown immensely since then both intellectually and in overall life skills.
Try integrating this with #16 and you’ll be able to see yourself progress as a person through the years.
45. Learn to Laugh At Any Situation
It was the night of Thanksgiving this year.
My wife and I had just gotten back from my cousin’s house and we had placed a pan full of El Salvadorean-style turkey in the back seat.
Where we got home, I reached into the back seat to grab the pan when I realized it leaked and got all over the seat.
Rather than getting frustrated and get mad at myself for not placing the pan correctly on the seat, I chose to laugh heartily at the situation as I went to grab some paper towels to clean it up.
This is a small example of how learning to laugh at any situation can save us a lot of frustration and self-deprecating thoughts which ultimately helps us be more confident.
46. Remind Yourself That Everyone Else is Insecure Too
“But what will they think of me if I do that?” thought everybody who ever lived ever.
Remind yourself that everyone else is just as insecure as you are and by taking a step outside of your comfort zone, you’re already a more confident person than most people.
Plus, everyone else is too busy thinking about themselves so why would they have time to think about you?
47. Find What Defines You
We all are defined by something, what defines you?
I know for me, my wife is a huge defining factor in who I am as a person.
I would do anything for her, and she is the love of my life.
Perhaps you’re passionate about things you do such as playing the piano, soccer, basketball, etc., take ownership of these hobbies and remind yourself that these things make up who you are.
When we know who we are and what defines us, we feel more grounded in life and ultimately more confident.
48. Develop a Habit of Not Caring What People Think
This one is hard, but very rewarding when we engage in this type of behavior.
Do you have a dream that is constantly met with resistance by phrases like, “Yeah, but what will ___ think?”
Fight those fears with all your might.
The easiest way to do this is to simply do the thing you dream of doing without thinking about it.
The funny thing is, most of our fears end up not coming true anyway as studies have shown.
The longer we sit and stew over what people will think of us if we do something, the less likely we will actually do it.
Eventually, the more we act on our dreams the easier it will be to not care what people think.
49. Don’t Let Other People Define You
“But you just said your wife defines you in #47!”
I did say that, however, while she is a big part of who I am as a person, she still doesn’t ultimately define me.
This may sound like a paradox, and that’s OK, but what I mean by her not ultimately defining me is this:
While I love her tremendously and would do anything for her, I am not entirely shaped by her opinion of me.
Will my entire being shatter into oblivion if I realize she doesn’t think I’m a great piano player?
Of course not, because I’m not defined by what she thinks of me.
Instead, I acknowledge her opinion and because I know that I’m passionate about playing the piano and have years of experience with it, I will continue to perfect my playing regardless of her opinion.
In the same way, if somebody calls you things like “dorky”, “nerdy”, “dumb”, or other demeaning words, if you know who you are you won’t let these words shatter your very existence.
Don’t let other people’s opinions define you, instead, learn to take criticism and continually improve yourself.
50. Think Introspectively (But Not Too Long!)
Ever wonder what it is that makes you feel uncomfortable or shy in certain situations?
Spend time thinking introspectively about your thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. and you may be amazed at what you find out about yourself.
However, don’t spend all your time thinking while neglecting to take action as confidence is built primarily through real-world life experience.
51. Find New Solutions in Challenging Times
Don’t have the answer to a challenging problem in your life yet?
Spend time finding new solutions through researching, talking with experts, etc.
Remember there’s no problem too big for us to solve, so take action and look for the solution right away!
52. Don’t Be a Perfectionist
Want to know one of the biggest reasons why people aren’t successful?
They don’t want to start something unless they know that the result will be “perfect”.
Well, sorry to burst your bubble but there’s no such thing as perfection.
I once told a buddy of mine who had spent years working on his music but never finished a single song because he felt like it was never good enough:
“Dude, just create something and if it sucks, make a better one next time.”
I was paraphrasing from a quote I heard by Dave Grohl who ranted about the music industry back in 2013:
Here’s the full quote for more context:
“Musicians should go to a yard sale and buy an old f****** drum set and get in their garage and just suck. And get their friends to come in and they’ll suck, too. And then they’ll f******* start playing and they’ll have the best time they’ve ever had in their lives and then all of a sudden they’ll become Nirvana.” – Dave Grohl
When my friend got out of his head that he needed to make something perfect and instead just make a song, he posted a song onto Soundcloud later that week after months of not finishing a song.
Don’t get hung up on needing everything to be perfect, because it simply won’t be.
Instead, try doing what Dave Grohl suggests and just get out there and suck!
53. Don’t Assume The Worst
Do you find yourself assuming the worst about yourself?
You are needing to finish a project but you find yourself wanting to lay on the couch and watch the Walking Dead.
Do you immediately think, “Wow, I’m so lazy!”
When we assume the worst about ourselves, we create a false identity of ourselves in our minds and eventually we start to believe that we are that person.
Instead, try thinking to yourself, “Why am I on the couch? I’m not a lazy person!”
Just as we can create a false identity of ourselves through negative thoughts, we can also create a true identity of ourselves through positive thoughts.
Pretty soon, you won’t even have to question why you’re on the couch because you’ll be too busy working hard on your project.
54. Stop Seeking Approval From Others
As mentioned in #49, we shouldn’t believe that other people’s opinions define us.
In the same way, we should not actively seek out approval from other people to feel good about ourselves.
While it is perfectly normal to want to be liked by others, and very natural as children to want approval from those in authority over us, things can get a little sticky if we need approval from others in order to function properly in life.
If you find yourself needing people to like you in order to feel confident, spend time finding what defines you and focusing your efforts on that.
This doesn’t mean you should shun people’s approval of you, but instead, you should take the humble approach of giving and receiving approval voluntarily, not as a necessity.
Education & Knowledge
55. Learn How to Manage Your Finances
Nothing makes me feel more confident than knowing that I have complete and total control of my finances.
There are several great resources to use online, but one of my all-time favorites is the Android app Acorns.
Acorns is a micro saving app that allows you to invest money from your bank account into ETF funds automatically.
I use my Acorns account as a savings account, and I love it because every day I make a little extra thanks to the performance of my ETF funds.
There are risks, of course, but it’s still a great tool to use if you have trouble saving money.
Another great resource I use is the Rich Dad Radio Podcast.
Robert Kiyosaki is a fantastic business mentor who teaches people how to take control of their finances and make their money work for them.
His podcast is free, and I highly suggest you check it out!
Here is a list of resources that I recommend checking out if you want to get serious about managing your finances:
- Acorns App
- Rich Dad Podcast
- Personal Capital – Web app that helps you monitor your spending & view your net worth
- Credit Karma – Completely free website that lets you monitor your credit score
- Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey
- Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
- Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
- The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley
56. Start a Business
Here’s a great video on this subject by Pat Flynn from Smart Passive Income:
Nowadays thanks to technology, it can be extremely easy to start a business doing virtually anything you can think of.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you won’t run into some difficulties along the way, but starting and running a business can give you great insight into finances, budgeting, marketing, etc.
It can also give you a good amount of life experience and look impressive on a resume.
For example when I started my own web design business in 2014 the skills I acquired through that process helped me get a job as an SEO Specialist at a well-known publicly traded digital marketing company.
Before jumping into the world of entrepreneurship, spend some time researching and reading books on it.
Who knows? You could eventually become a full-time entrepreneur that exudes confidence!
Great books on entrepreneurship:
- Will It Fly? by Pat Flynn
- $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau
- The E Myth by Michael Gerber
- Rich Dad’s Before You Quit Your Job by Robert Kiyosaki
57. Become an Expert in One Thing
Check out this clip from the movie City Slickers:
There are many ways of interpreting this scene, but here’s my take on it:
The “secret” of life is to find one thing to focus all of your efforts on and stick with it.
Pick one thing you’re passionate about and become an expert at it.
Also, read the book The One Thing by Gary Keller to gain more knowledge on this simple but powerful principle.
58. Treat Failure as a Learning Experience
Simply put, failure is part of the process in becoming successful.
It is the ultimate teacher that shows you what doesn’t work so you can readjust and not make the same mistake twice.
When we treat failure as part of the process of becoming a successful person, we become more confident and willing to take risks even in the scariest situations.
59. Find a Mentor
Is there someone you look up to in life that you would be able to gain a vast amount of knowledge from?
This could be a family member, a boss, someone from your church, etc.
There are even resources online that help you connect with mentors including the website Find A Mentor.
Having a mentor is great because they likely have a lot more life experience than you do and can give you great advice since they may have been in the same place you are currently.
Find yourself a mentor and gain the necessary knowledge you need to boost your confidence!
60. Listen to Audio Books
Audio books are great, I have an Audible Membership which gives me 2 free audio books each month.
A month is plenty of time to listen to both books when I go on walks/jogs or do laundry for the wife.
You can gain a considerable amount of knowledge each month on whatever topic you want so I definitely recommend getting started with Audible.
61. Listen to Podcasts
There are dozens of great podcasts online that you can listen to for tips on self-improvement and building confidence.
Here are a few of my favorites that I listen to regularly on the free Podcast Addict app:
62. Learn Another Language
Learning another language has been shown to improve your cognitive abilities.
That benefit alone should be worth the time and effort, but it is also a great way to build your self-confidence as you become a valuable resource when it comes to that language.
I know Spanish very well, and it has definitely come in handy in situations where translating was needed at my past jobs.
You can get started for free learning a new language using the website Duolingo.
Remember, though, the best way to learn a language is to constantly practice speaking it!
63. Learn How to Dance
Nothing says “I’m confident” more than someone who is willing to get up in front people and dance.
You don’t even necessarily have to be that great, just have some rhythm and a few cool moves in your repertoire.
I learned how to dance like Michael Jackson as a teen using YouTube back in 2006 when there were barely any videos on it.
Nowadays, there’s literally thousands of videos that can teach you things like the moonwalk, popping & locking, etc. for free.
If you’ve got some dollars to spare, try taking some dance lessons at a local studio.
64. Learn How to Play an Instrument
Imagine sitting in front of a piano at a party and being able to play all the latest tunes.
What’s stopping you from being that guy?
If you plan on learning how to play an instrument, I definitely recommend starting with the piano first as it’s arguably the easiest to learn.
I decided in 2008 that I wanted to learn how to play the piano so I went to my youth group an hour early every week and played the grand piano on the stage in the dark.
With my video iPod shining brightly in the dark and videos from Shawn Cheek’s YouTube channel teaching me songs like Imagine, Let It Be, and Hey Jude (I’m a huge Beatles fan), I was playing the piano.
I eventually learned chords, the circle of 5ths, minor keys, and how to play by ear, but it was these first few videos that really helped me get going.
I highly recommend checking out Shawn Cheek’s YouTube channel if you are interested in learning how to play the piano as his style of teaching is easy to follow and not complicated.
If you are wanting to learn how to play the guitar, I highly recommend checking out JustinGuitar.com.
Resources for the TL;DR Crowd:
- Shawn Cheek’s YouTube Channel – Great teacher, his method is simple to learn and not complicated at all. He teaches how to play popular songs that span multiple decades.
- JustinGuitar.com – Free website that teaches you everything you need to know about the guitar.
65. Be Kind to Others
When we are kind to others, it raises our dopamine levels that ultimately boost our mood and make us feel more confident.
If you don’t already, focus on being kind to other people and you will not only feel good about yourself, but you will be doing a greater service to the world around you.
66. Speak More Clearly
People who speak louder and more clearly tend to come off as more confident and persuasive.
I have a habit of mumbling sometimes when I speak and I hate it, so I’ve been trying to enunciate my words better and speak at a higher volume.
Of course, don’t start screaming as that will just annoy the people around you and make you look like a fool.
So here’s a quick recap:
Don’t be like this guy:
But also don’t be like this guy:
You’re on your way to learning how to be more confident!
67. Stand Taller
Do you slouch your shoulders while walking/sitting?
Try to work on your posture as this not only has fantastic health benefits, but it makes you look and feel more confident.
68. Look People in the Eyes
Maintaining eye contact is extremely important in the work environment as well as social settings as it shows respect to the person with whom you’re speaking.
If you feel self-conscious, this can be difficult, so try to break this habit right away by practicing looking people in the eyes.
You can do this with your friends, coworkers, or even complete strangers.
Don’t stare though, weirdo!
69. Smile More
Even if you don’t feel happy, a fake smile can boost your mood.
Try smiling throughout the day and you’ll certainly not only feel happier, but more confident.
70. Volunteer in Your Community
Getting more involved with your local community can be a great way to meet new people, network, and give back to the community you live in.
Try finding local volunteer opportunities near you and get started today.
There’s even a great website called VolunteerMatch that can find you local opportunities in just a few clicks!
71. Choose Your Friends Wisely
The people you spend most of your time with can play a huge factor in your confidence level.
Ask yourself, “Do my friends build me up or tear me down?”
If you feel like your friends are doing nothing but tearing you down then maybe it’s time you branch out and find new friends.
Of course, everyone’s situation is different, but the key takeaway here is to try and surround yourself with people who build you up and don’t tear you down.
72. Ask Questions
There’s no such thing as a stupid question…most of the time.
Asking questions helps us solve problems, get to know people better, and build our confidence on whatever subject we’re asking about.
Feel free to ask away even if you think the answer is obvious (unless your question is which Michael Jackson song is the best – it’s obviously Will You Be There )!
73. Learn to Accept Criticism
As the quote suggests, if you’re seriously about improving yourself and building your confidence then you need to learn how to accept criticism.
Obviously, everyone’s a critic, so it takes wisdom to differentiate between helpful criticism and people just being jerks, but use the helpful insight to improve whatever it is you’re doing.
74. Learn to Accept Praise
Have you ever had someone compliment you on something and you immediately discredit it in your mind?
Did you know you’re actually not being humble when you do that?
True humility is accepting both criticism and praise with open arms.
Learn to find the happy medium between accepting praise and being arrogant, and you’ll be in good shape!
75. Take an Improv Class
Improvisation classes can be a great way to get you out of your comfort zone and test your wit.
Being forced to think quickly and create situations out of thin air, you will certainly gain more confidence and expand your comfort zone.
Try taking a few improv classes and see how quick you are on your feet.
Who knows? You could be great at it and not know it!
76. Start Conversations With Strangers
Ever heard of locubrevisphobia?
It’s the fear of small talk, and apparently, it’s one of our biggest fears!
Try to muster up the courage to start a conversation with the clerk at the store, your bank teller, or even someone at your job that you don’t know very well.
Eventually, it will get easier and you will feel more confident knowing you can do something most people fear!
There are several great books on the topic of small talk, including one I recommend called The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine.
77. Treat Others With Respect
Being respectful is huge when it comes to learning how to be more confident.
The simple act of showing respect for others has the potential to open doors for your career, gain friends, gain a fantastic reputation, and even gain respect back for yourself.
This one’s a no-brainer, just treat others the way you would want to be treated and there’s a good chance you will have great things happen to you.
78. Admit When You’re Wrong
Nobody likes someone who can’t admit when they’re wrong, so why be like that?
People who have trouble admitting they’re wrong about something tend to be very insecure about themselves, so the simple act of saying, “I was wrong” shows you’re not as insecure as you may have thought.
79. Ask Somebody You Find Stunning Out On a Date
Sick of swiping left all the time on Tinder?
Why not just walk up to someone you’re interested in and ask them out in person?
Nowadays, women have complained that men aren’t asking them out because “they don’t have balls anymore.”
If you’re a guy, prove them wrong.
If you’re a woman, ask away!
Could you be rejected? Of course, but that’s part of the journey!
You wanna know how to be more confident?
Walk across the room and see!
80. Flirt With Someone You Fancy
Are you single?
Then get your flirt on!
Flirting is a great way to build confidence, meet new people, and maybe even find your life partner!
Check out this great video on how to gain confidence when flirting:
81. Only Apologize When Necessary
Do you find yourself using the word “sorry” a lot?
I knew someone that I worked with a long time ago that would constantly use the word “sorry” even if she didn’t do anything wrong.
I later came to find out that she struggled with self-confidence and was very insecure about herself.
Experts believe that constant apologizing is linked to low self-esteem, so make a habit of only apologizing when absolutely necessary.
Like any habit, this can take up to a month to break, but you CAN do it!
If you mess up, though, you don’t have to send me an apology.
82. Learn to Say No
While we all can agree that Yes Man was a funny movie with a great message, the fact is we still have to say “no” in certain situations.
Especially if we’re in the beginning stages of learning how to be more confident.
Learning to say “no” can ultimately help us get ahead in life as we learn to prioritize our lives and get the important things done without distractions.
If you think you’re a people-pleaser, make an effort to say no the next time someone asks you a favor if it conflicts with something important you need to do.
It’ll become easier the more you do it, and will ultimately make you feel more confident and in control of your life.
83. Be Honest With Yourself and Those Around You
Honesty is truly the best policy and like the above quote says, without honesty confidence ceases to exist.
When we are honest, we not only build trust with others but also ourselves.
If you work really hard and are honest with yourself and those around you, amazing things will happen in your life.
84. Practice Altruism
Altruism, simply defined, is the act of thinking of others before yourself.
85. Travel More
We crave adventure: it’s in our DNA!
Spend time traveling to other cities or, if you can afford it, other countries.
You’ll not only learn a lot, but you’ll be able to experience the world around you in a different light.
The more we get to know the planet we live on, the more confident we’ll feel to take on any challenges that face us.
Plus, it’s just awesome spending time in a place you’ve never been to as everything is new and exciting!
86. Explore Other Cultures
Whether you do this while traveling or in your local library, spend time learning about other cultures.
Chances are, you’ll find out that people in those cultures have a lot more in common with you than you might expect!
When we realize how similar we all are on a base level, it gives us the courage to push forward and be confident in the face of adversity.
87. Stand Up For Yourself
Simply put: confident people speak their mind.
If put in a situation where you need to defend yourself, do so calmly and assertively.
Here’s a great video for tips on how to stand up for yourself:
88. Live in the Moment
Do you find yourself constantly thinking about the future?
Take a breath, and just be in the present.
The present is all we have, and most of us spend hours thinking about things that either haven’t happened yet or will never happen.
Take each day one at a time and live in the moment and you will feel more peace and in control of your life.
Also, make sure to check out Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now on this very subject to have your mind seriously blown.
89. Forgive Yourself Quickly
The fact is we all mess up sometimes, so why be so hard on yourself?
Learn to forgive yourself quickly before your mind can start its tirade of insults against you.
Better yet, do what I suggested in #37 and form new thought patterns in your mind that way you won’t have to put up with any BS from yourself.
90. Be Positive
I’m serious when I say this:
Remove the word “can’t” from your vocabulary.
The only limits we have are the ones we place on ourselves, so stay positive even when times seem difficult.
Confidence and positivity tend to go hand-in-hand, so try seeing that cup as half full instead of half empty and your confidence will grow.
Feel more confident yet?
No worries if you don’t!
These things take time and effort on our part, but I truly hope this list has helped you in some way.
Did any of these tips on how to be more confident stick out to you?
Let me know in the comment section below!